Why doesn’t asking for help come easily?
This is the most common question that I encounter during my 1-on-1 Coaching Sessions after we have identified the client’s next crucial step.
Often that next step requires the individual to pull his or her resources together, assess and gauge the power of these resources, and leverage them to fulfill the best fit role in the next stage of acquisitions.
When most arrive at this juncture, there’s a lot of hesitation.
Up until this point, my clients and I have achieved monumental progress in reshaping habits, polishing schedules, and developing new skills. One would think that this preparatory work, this laying of the foundation, would be the most challenging chapter in their personal success story.
…But that hasn’t been the case.
After further research, I realized that most people struggle when asking for help. When our team asked our Community about this dilemma, over half of the volunteers reported that asking for help has been THE most difficult step in reaching their goals.
When I first learned of these results, I thought to myself, “This is bizarre!” I couldn’t understand how asking a friend or coworker for help could be more difficult than adjusting the diet, or learning how to meditate. But soon I realized something that would transform the way I understood interpersonal interaction. It was the same understanding that helped ¾ of my clients take the next crucial step that had been intimidating them for so long.
My clients and I had a very black and white understanding of how asking for help would move them forward. However, it wasn’t until after this step was taken that we realized how transformative this simple process was.
After my clients asked for help (whether they received a “yes” or “no”), there was a huge and immediate release of fear. They felt this release as if an entity within them had been pushed out. The space that was left was filled with peace, satisfaction, and accomplishment.
As I heard more and more stories like this, I couldn’t believe that so much value could be created from just a few strings of words.
After I had collected these stories, I was encouraged to share some of these findings with the greater public. These and other success stories can all boil down to a few simple and powerful ideas. Work with the following ideas and practices and find out for yourself how asking for help can support your unique situation and give you the momentum that you’ve been searching for.
It’s easier than you think.
#1 Asking and Grounding
Asking for help grounds you.
It lets you know where you are and what you need. It’s a reality check of sorts- one that can help us identify that next crucial move.
I think it’s safe to say that all of would enjoy to see our goals materialize sooner than later. If such a longing exists inside of you, one must consider the dimension of time and what restraints it places on this goal, i.e., we don’t have unlimited time to get this work done.
This very idea brings our mortality and the nature of our goals to the front of our mind. It forces us to realize that there’s a deadline.
One of the most common reasons that people don’t ask for help is that they don’t realize the immediacy of what is required of them. It’s too easy to just think, “Oh, I’ll do that next week”. And then what happens?
And more of nothing the week after that.
However, when one considers asking for help, they also consider the sensitivity of their goal. They come to realize that it has needs (just like us) and that the opportunity for fruition won’t always be available.
As one becomes more conscious of this dimension of time, one also realizes that time is running out. It’s quite the grounding experience.
Whether you decide to ask for help or not, the consideration of asking has laid the bed for discovering otherwise unreachable truths, as in “How serious am I about this goal?” and “What am I willing to do to acquire?”
#2 Asking and Feeling It Out
You know you want help, but don’t know exactly what kind or who to ask.
This is also a common experience for people actively pursuing their goals. We know that many hands make light work, but we don’t always know what job to give them. To find the answer, we must incorporate our greater intelligence, one that includes but is not limited to the mind.
The mind would love to know the 1, 2, 3, 4 stepwise progression for getting the help you need. It would also love to know who to ask and at exactly what day and time. And while this luxury may appear every now and then, it’s nothing to wait on.
There are too many variables for this sterile and calculated approach. We need to be more flexible, more observant of our current environment. How is this achieved?
Answer: Always be on the lookout for helpers. The mind is not able to imagine the context in which these helpers will appear, but your “feelers” are.
The Hunter has theses skills. He is patient, still, focused, and observing his environment. Want to be a successful Hunter? Stay alert and identify your target.
In our next article, we’ll continue with the “7 Reasons Why Asking for Help Will Unlock Your Success’s Stalemate” and learn exactly why and how this new attitude will take you to your next level of achievement.
Your Next Step
Work with these ideas and practices and stay tuned for Part 2 where we’ll discuss action, acceptance, truth, understanding, and connection. Powerful stuff indeed.
Food for Thought
What is the one area of your life where you could excel if you only had the help? Who has the resources to help you?
Please share your thoughts with us by leaving a comment below. It creates substantial value for our Community to hear from others who are also invested in personal development.
P.S. Quick reads like this are incredibly powerful and serve well to remind us, get us back on track, and to help us learn new skills. However, for those of you out there who are interested in even bigger gains towards personal freedom, removing blocks, deepening relationships, and connecting to Source, consider Coaching. It is truly the most transformative experience you will ever have. If this is you, sign up for a free Coaching Strategy Session and learn what Coaching can do for you (serious applicants only).
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